Exeter Hotel, Semaphore

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date of visit: Saturday 30 March 2013

The lovely long Easter weekend actually gave us some time to collect our thoughts and head out and about. A friend had mentioned the Kite Festival at Semaphore and while it’s a small hike from our place we made it down just in time to see a few kites before our toddler started demanding something to eat …

We had no real plan and we just started wandering up Semaphore Road. There is no shortage of places to choose from and we were tempted by quite a few. I was looking out for the Exeter purely on the ground that I had been there once about 15 years ago. Unfortunately, I didn’t realise quite how far away from the sea the pub is and by the time we reached it, the bleats of “eat, eat” from the pram were becoming more and more pitiful so we had no choice but to hope they could accommodate us.

We entered the bistro area to see what seemed like huge swathes of massive tables set up, every table with a reserved sign and seemingly every high chair in the state set out. It turns out that Easter Saturday and an international kite festival make for busy venues …

It’s a good thing we were so early (almost bang on 5pm) because we actually bagged the last free table in the house. We could have sat outside but firstly, it was cold and secondly, the Exeter has a play area* and we knew that meant we would have very little focus on actually eating, let alone leaving.

There were no free high chairs but fortunately our table was more like a booth and had high banquette seating so our little chap had no problem demolishing my dinner for me.

The menu at the Exeter is pub standard with pub standard prices. The pub offers various meal deals, as well as “kids eat free” from Monday through Thursday. We opted, as always, for pub standards. Andy chose the beef schnitzel with gravy and I went for the toddler’s current favourite, salt and pepper fried calamari.

As an aside, any pub that has a toddler sized portion of that on its menu – please get in touch, because I’m sick of sharing my food!

The meals came out super fast, which you do expect and also, given the masses of large reserved tables, something for which we were extremely grateful.

Andy’s schnitzel actually wasn’t too bad – a very standard pub schnitzel and it was definitely a case of getting exactly what you expect. Unfortunately, the salt and pepper squid was an absolute masterclass in stuffing up. We could not fathom what had gone wrong.

The batter on the squid was squidgy, doughy and pappy. The squid itself was actually tender. Had everything been dramatically overcooked? Not likely, as that wouldn’t turn the batter doughy and the meals had come out really quickly. Had the fat been not hot enough? I didn’t think so because it didn’t seem greasy (although, in hindsight, maybe all the fat had been absorbed into that nasty batter …). Andy thought it was no mean achievement to mess it up so royally (although he did also say he felt incredibly sorry for the kitchen staff for the imminent onslaught of large parties).

Now I do have to confess that when the waiter came to collect our plates I didn’t complain. Firstly, thanks to the toddler there was nothing left on the plate and I think it’s pretty rude to complain about something you’ve demolished. Secondly, I had no real constructive criticism to offer: “it just wasn’t very good” is rather pathetic.

Everything else at the Exeter was as you’d expect: service was friendly and efficient, the wine list had a good selection of reasonably priced by the glass wines but was a bit boring and the menu offered all the pub favourites.

We used our Entertainment Book voucher and the meal cost us under $40 (2 main courses, a beer for Andy and a glass of Riesling for me). I think I am generally fair and set my expectations according to the venue, and I very much hope the squid was a one off issue. The problem the Exeter has is that it is far too close to a huge range of restaurants, so one small slip up will see us try somewhere else next time we head that way.

Where should we have eaten instead?

* Personally, as soon as I see a pub offering a “play area” it puts me off. I’d rather my child sat at the table and ate his dinner than think it’s acceptable to charge around like a lunatic. That’s the grumpy old lady in me …

Seacliff Beach Hotel

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slightly anaemic salt and pepper squid

date of visit: Sunday 9 February 2013

I know we’ve visited the Seacliff Beach Hotel before – but that was way back in 2010 so I think our latest visit merits a few words.

This time we were booked in for Sunday lunch: a booking for 5 plus a highchair. When we arrived, there was someone at the bar and we were seated quickly. No high chair (sigh) but that did arrive quickly and we were soon set up and ready to go.

The menu at the Seacliff is one of those very standardised pub menus and you’ll find carbon copies (or near enough) of it at various pub venues around the country. There’s nothing to challenge you here and even the pricing is comfortable with most dishes (bar the steaks) under $20. In our group, we had fish and chips, salt and pepper squid (that was me), the chicken and bacon burger, and a bruschetta.

The salt and pepper squid was unexciting. It was tender, but flavour wise there was not a lot going on at all. The batter was reasonably light and it wasn’t soggy or oily. The squid was served atop some chips, a couple of very sad looking wilted salad leaves, and with a portion of coleslaw on the side. The coleslaw was ok – totally inoffensive, and totally too much of it. I wonder if any of those bowls of coleslaw return to the kitchen empty …

Of particular note were the chips, which were awful. They were thin, long chips, soggy, nowhere near golden enough – I’m guessing they were a great example of especially cheap frozen bulk chips. There is just no excuse for them being on a plate.

Service wise, things were a little uneven. At one point I went to the bar and it was unattended and the little group of patrons that assembled over time waited quite a while for someone to show up. But our food came out quickly and correctly. There was one guy wandering around who was great and should give all the other staff instruction in customer service. When he saw us settling our toddler into the highchair he came over, unprompted, to let us know where the baby change facilities were, and when he saw our group leaving he made a point of saying good bye and thanking us. These are two tiny things but they make you feel like someone is actually interested in you having a good time.

Of course it was cheap – you can eat for under $20 a head and we used our Entertainment Book voucher for a further 25% off.

I don’t know about you but I’d rather eat somewhere with good chips …

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The Fleece, Otley

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Date of visit: Monday 29 October 2012

In an age of easy communication it can be surprisingly difficult to organise catching up with geographically disparate friends. Even those who work with the cutting edge of technology.

A fair bit of last minute to-ing and fro-ing saw us loitering outside a supermarket in Otley, waiting for my mate who had suggested the Fleece for lunch. The food and beer were both supposed to be excellent.

On a Monday lunch time the Fleece was almost empty: hopefully this means that many of the good folk of Otley are gainfully employed. As far as I’m concerned, a generous choice of tables in a pub is always a good thing.

The Fleece is operated by WharfeBank Brewery so in addition to a small selection of real ales from other small brewers, three of WharfeBank’s own beers took pride of place on the bar. I tried a pint of WharfeBank’s CamFell.

The menu is a good size list of smartened up pub classics. Andy chose fish and chips (Steve commented that the piece of fish looked like it had come from a whale), Steve chose the burger (with cheese but no bacon) and I opted for the crispy pork belly with black pudding mash.

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The mains all hover around the £8-10 mark so this was by no means the cheapest pub meal you’ll find in the north of England, but it was very good. My pork belly (the only thing I managed to taste!) was tender and moist, its piece of crackling was crisp and, perhaps most importantly, it got the seal of approval from the toddler. The black pudding mash also got a thumbs up – there was plenty of black pudding and the chunks were all different sizes. My one criticism would be the gravy which was a bit thick and, um, commercial tasting.

Service wise, the barman we dealt with was super friendly and helpful. He was chatty and efficient and, from what I saw, a real asset to the pub.

As with pretty much everywhere in the UK (it seems!), the Fleece offers patrons free wifi – just ask at the bar for the password!

A big tick all round and definitely a pub worth making a trip to Otley for if you live nearby.